


Heart Will be Waiting

by hydraxx, showmethelions (sightandsound3733)



Series: The Morning Has Come [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blood and Injury, Continuation of This is Why We Fight Series, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Major Character Injury, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Platonic Soulmates, Rebel Matt, Rebel Matt AU, pre-tiwwf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:28:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13073049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydraxx/pseuds/hydraxx, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sightandsound3733/pseuds/showmethelions
Summary: Thrust into command, Leilani must try to find their footing. It's not easy when the ground starts to shake out from under them.





	Heart Will be Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> And we're back! "Heart Will be Waiting" kicks off our second series, The Morning Has Come, but if you haven't read This is Why We Fight PLEASE GO DO THAT FIRST. This fic/series will make zero sense if you don't know the characters already.
> 
> That said - and if you just went and binged TIWWF, good for you - enjoy!

“Must you go?”

“You already know the answer to that question. I don’t know why you ask.”

“We live in a universe of endless possibilities. There is a chance I will ask that question one day and you will answer the way I want you to and not the way I know you must.” 

Kartok laughs, the sound surprised as it springs brightly to his lips. Leilani pouts and crosses two arms over their chest. Minutes left with him before the mission departure and here he stands, laughing at them, his amusement daring to dance on their tongue!

“I am not joking, Kartok!”

“I know, my sweet, I know,” Kartok soothes, chuckling still. His hands, big and warm, move down their shoulders, the rough pads of his fingertips tickling over their sensitive skin. Miffed though they are still, the warmth of his touch and aura combined smoothes down the ruffled edges of their nerves. “I do not mean to laugh at you,” he murmurs, tugging Leilani close, hands settling at their waist. “You surprised me, that is all.”

“Years we have been kin and I can still surprise you?” Leilani asks with a quirk of their brow. “A marvelous feat for sure.”

Kartok gently butts his forehead against their own. “You never stop surprising me, Leilani.” 

A smile comes unbidden to Leilani’s lips. They cannot help it, not when their dearest kin is still close at hand for the moment. They uncurl their limbs and let their hands come to rest on him, two on his shoulders, two on his arms. “Surprise me this time,” they whisper. “Stay.”

“I cannot,” Kartok whispers back. “I have my orders, I have my mission. You know I must go.”

Leilani sighs. Yes, they do know. They signed off on the mission themself with Valdis days ago, just as they have signed off on nearly a dozen infiltration missions since stepping into their place as Commander after Akello’s passing. Missions that, while necessary, they hate, if only because they take Kartok away from their side. 

Kartok squeezes their waist, pulling back enough so he can look them over. “Do not be so sullen. The taste of your sadness is unbearable, dear heart.” 

Leilani sighs again. “I am sorry,” they mutter as they rest their head against the broad expanse of his chest. “I just worry.”

Kartok takes two of their hands, cupping them close and kissing their knuckles. “Leilani, I will be fine. I am quite good at this, if you remember.”

As if that was such a comfort. Akello being good did not stop her from dying. Leilani does not say this, though, choosing to smile for him instead. “I know. But it is in my nature to fret. It only worsens when you are gone, my heart.”

“I will be fine,” Kartok reassures again. “If you must fret, do so over Valdis. He is the one who needs it.” The warm honey of Kartok’s love begins to curdle at the edges with the sourness of concern and grief, almost enough to make Leilani wrinkle up their nose. 

They don’t, of course, having long schooled themself against letting slip the more visible reactions to others’ negative auras. Nothing sets someone on edge faster than seeing the sour way an emotion hits them. 

Leilani smoothes their hands over Kartok’s chest. “I would do more if he let me. Our Commander is stubborn, Kartok, and he says again and again that he is fine.” They sigh. “I do not know if I should be insulted at his insistences.”

“Insulted?”

“Clearly he assumes me daft or dumb if he thinks I cannot read his aura.” Leilani scoffs, their frustration only gentled by the warm sweep of Kartok’s hands up their back. “I do not know what I can do for him.”

Kartok sighs, his head dipping low enough that Leilani must accommodate themself against him to avoid knocking their head against the wide branching of his antlers. “There is nothing we can do, for all that I wish that was not the case.”

Leilani lands a kiss to his brow, sweet and gentle, at the first sign of solemness entering the sweetness of his soul. “Do not cloud your mind with these worries now. You have a mission that must be your focus.” They cup two hands to his face. “The more you focus, the quicker you will finish and be back in my arms.”

That brings a smile back to his lips and brightness to his soul. It makes all Leilani’s senses spark, pleasant pin-pricks racing over their skin. 

“I will always come back to you,” Kartok murmurs, pressing their foreheads together once more. 

“And I will be waiting,” they whisper in return, before stealing themself and pulling back. “Just as Valdis and your team wait for you now.” 

Kartok laughs. “Yes, Commander,” he rumbles, earning himself a swat. 

“Do not call me that!”

Kartok just laughs again, taking and kissing their hands. “You must embrace your title, my heart. Months it has been yours, and you wear it very well.”

They pout at him, but do not resist as he guides them to the deck. He is so happy to tease them, and the sound of his laughter is lovelier than all the music in the universe, so they allow it. Leilani will miss that sound while he is gone, but Kartok always returns to them. Always. 

It will not be long before their world is bright with him once more.

* * *

 Leilani takes a deep breath, threading their fingers together as they come to a stop before a door they know well. 

It has been nearly two days since Valdis made an appearance in the halls of the ship, and there is no sign of him changing that. This is not uncommon—Valdis has always been a reserved being, someone who values his solitude and peaceful time alone—but it has become more than that over the passing months with Akello gone. If left to his devices, Leilani is sure Valdis would lock himself away and outright reject all overtures of connection and companionship. They fear the day he truly turns them and Kartok away. 

Kartok. Leilani sighs, their eyes slipping closed for a moment. After too many cycles with long nights spent alone and longer days that never seem to end, Kartok will be back in their arms in only a matter of hours. That is more enough to calm their nerves. 

Well. Most of their nerves.

_ You are a Commander, _ they chastise themself silently.  _ Akello did not choose you to be meek. Especially not before her mate. _

Straightening up, they knock twice before pressing a hand to the door panel and opening it themself. Valdis often does not hear the knocking anymore. He is too lost in the typhoon of his neverending grief. Leilani wishes it was not so familiar a storm to weather, wishes they did not have to wade through the undertow of Valdis' pain as they approach him.

"Valdis.” Leilani stops a few paces from the hunched figure at the desk. "You did not come to breakfast again."

"I am not hungry." His once-rich voice comes hoarse and broken. "I am fine, Leilani. Do not worry yourself."

Once upon a time that would have been enough to cow them, to make them give him space. But that was before, when they stood at Akello's side instead of in her place, and a laugh from her was enough to bring Valdis to his feet no matter what.

"I am the wrong person for you to lie to about this," Leilani says plainly. He knows they can feel his grief as if it were their own, can feel the raw, aching hole in his heart. If they could soothe that for him they would without a moment’s pause, but there is no cure for a broken heart.

"Leilani," Valdis sighs, pushing himself up to sit straighter in his chair. "I do not need you to coddle me, I am—"

"We must discuss today's extraction." They cut across him, as curt as they can manage. He will not let them care for him as they wish, but he is always willing to bury himself in work. "Kartok’s mission is to be completed today, but he did not initiate contact last night and I… I do not know if this is normal. I do not know the protocol. I was never… I have never been present on deck for the whole of these proceedings.” They sigh. “It was not allowed."

"Akello protecting you," Valdis murmurs distractedly. Leilani knows they must act quickly, or else risk losing him to cloudy thoughts and drowning pain. 

"Valdis, I need you to tell me what to do." Leilani steps forward, the loose fabric of their skirt swirling around their feet like smoke. "I was told not to be concerned by Kartok not checking in, but I am. Have you any news? I know you get readings directly from—"

"Kartok will be fine." Valdis waves them off, already turning back to his screens. "We begin the final sequences in just a few hours. You have nothing to worry about."  Every word is dull and dragging. He's clearly not all there. Leilani swallows back a sigh. What more could they do? He refuses even to hold their gaze.

"I will send your breakfast here, and you _ will  _ eat something," they tell him quietly. "You must, Valdis. I will not let you wither away." 

He makes some vague acknowledgement, looking back to his monitors. Leilani wonders how much he is really seeing. He is so much cloudier whenever Kartok is away. So much less willing to make a true effort if it is not absolutely necessary. 

Leilani leaves him, anxiety clawing their throat raw, but with the little seed of Kartok's return starting to settle and grow stems in their chest. Just a few hours more… 

That seed grows more and more until Kartok is due back in mere moments and Leilani is nursing a delicate little bloom. They can't help but fill the command deck with their happiness at the thought of their dear heart. There are smiles everywhere as the brightness of it dances across the tongues of those on deck, and the sight only makes Leilani happier, makes that sweetness absolutely saturate the room. 

“Excited, Commander?” Omontu asks, not looking up from the datapad cradled in the crook of her arm for monitoring patient prognoses. “Or have you just decided to be generous and treat the base to the sweetness that usually belongs only to Kartok?”

“Tease me all you like,” Leilani laughs, glancing away from the bright expanse of the stars in the large open window. “I will not stifle my happiness at having my kin return home.”

“Me? Teasing you, Commander? Unthinkable.” 

The doors open before Leilani can say anything else. They turn, beaming bright, and the citrus and honey that floods the room is overwhelming. “Welcome back!” they say cheerfully, smiling so wide it hurts. Immediately their eyes bypass Valdis’s shrouded figure, searching over his shoulder for Kartok’s grin and the warm comfort of his aura… but Kartok is not there.

Leilani blinks, re-centering their attention to Valdis, and it is only then that they read the sourness pouring off of him. It’s strong, strong enough to drown out the ever-present burn of his grief for Akello and to actually knock Leilani a step backwards. 

“Valdis?” Leilani asks, breathless from the abruptness of the switch from overwhelming brightness in the room to the dark leech of Valdis’... they don’t even have a name for the emotion swirling thick in their fellow Commander. “Valdis, what is wrong?”

Valdis flinches as the sweetness fades from the room, able to feel it so much more than everyone else through the kin bonds he tries so hard to ignore most days. “Leilani…” he croaks. “I—We need to speak to in private.”

“Valdis?” They frown, searching again behind him. Dread curls slowly around them like ropes, restraints they have not felt since the Empire’s shackles fell away and landed broken at their feet. “Where is Kartok?”

Valdis looks away. “In private, Leilani.” 

“No.”

Omontu sets her pad aside on a console top, and steps up to Leilani’s side. “Commander Leilani—”

“I said no.” The ropes tighten, their voice quakes, and the sourness bubbles thick in their mouth. “Valdis. What has happened?” 

Nothing. Leilani steps forward, closer to him, fighting the turn of their stomach as they feel his emotions stronger.

Valdis does not speak, he does not move, he is a statue, and so it would seem is every other soul on the command deck at the moment. Leilani feels their stares burn, but Valdis will not look at them and his is the only gaze they need to see. 

“Valdis.” 

His hands curl into tight fists, the thick scars that rope over the backs of his hands and his knuckles jumping with tension, and finally, finally, he looks up to meet their eyes. 

“Kartok has been captured,” Valdis says, voice empty like a foreboding grave. “The Empire holds him prisoner.”

Any trace left of happiness in the room immediately turns to ash in the mouths all who are near. 

Leilani doesn’t process the sound of coughing, choking on the taste that now floods people’s mouths. They don’t see Omontu stepping up even closer to them, they do not feel her grip curling at their wrist. All they know, all they feel and all they can hear are those words, those awful, dreadful words.

Kartok has been captured. The Empire holds him prisoner. 

Two simple phrases, nothing puzzling about them, but Leilani cannot make it make sense to their ears. 

"No," they manage softly, barely aware of Valdis approaching them with steady steps. "No, no. He cannot be, he is returning today!"

"No," Valdis murmurs, reaching for Leilani's hands, catching them with his own. They only realize that they're shaking as his grip goes tight and forces them still. "He is not, Leilani." 

There is a moment of stillness, a single moment of calm, and then Leilani's world crumbles. 

It's with a wordless gasp that their knees go weak, and it is Valdis who catches them before they hit the floor. Coalition members on deck watch, wide-eyed, horrified and heartbroken, privy to a full broadcast of the wave of endless, aching sadness that crashes over the room. Leilani is helpless to stop or subdue it.

"We will get him back," Valdis murmurs, on his knees at Leilani's side. "They cannot take him from us." Leilani sobs once, a sound like the first shattering of a piece of glass in the room, and they turn to Valdis, seeking comfort only Kartok has ever been able to give. 

"Kartok—"

"I will bring him back." Valdis' voice is just a growl, low and menacing and drenched with his own pain. "I will bring him back to you."

They only break down that once. In Valdis’ arms, wrapped in the comfort of kin—the wrong kin—Leilani breaks down, just that one time. The wash of their sorrow stains the room, it saturates the air and imprints itself on all who approach Leilani in the horrible days that follow the news, but Leilani does not ever let it show. The Coalition cannot see one of their Commanders be weak, Leilani cannot let them think that Akello made the wrong choice by letting the empath take her place. 

They stand tall, and proud, and they trust Valdis’ determination to bring Kartok home to them. 

But that does not mean it is not torture without him.

Every day sloughs on for an eternity, each passing moment chipping away at the façade they’ve schooled themself into wearing. Leilani does not think they are fooling anyone, but the effort is distraction enough from the pain their chest and the gnawing ache in their gut. 

Valdis, for his part… he is a new man.

When Akello fell, he shut down. His bright passion burned out with her life, smothered by his grief and sadness. With Kartok now gone, he is like he was before, when she was still at his side. He is angry, and with it he has become revitalized, reenergized, his fury is an inferno in the dark. 

It is days before a plan can be formed, before they find out where Kartok is and have enough information to structure a plan to get him out. Valdis decides to lead the charge, donning his armor and grabbing his blade for the first time in months. 

“Leilani,” he calls, strapping his blade securely to his back. “Come here a moment?”

They approach him quietly, the long trail of their braid wound tight between their fingers. “Yes, Valdis?”

“Do not be on the deck today.” He kneels down, fixing a strap on his boot. Leilani frowns.

“Valdis?”

“It will only make you worry. Stay in the infirmary. Be there and be ready for when we return.” Valdis looks up at them, holding their gaze steady before pushing to his feet. He watches them for a moment, dark eyes locked onto their blue, and then, surprisingly, he smiles. 

Leilani swallows the gasp that bubbles up in their chest at the flicker of warmth they feel from him. It has been months since they felt such a blossoming. 

Valdis steps closer to take Leilani’s face carefully in his hands. “Akello used to say her luckiest moment was meeting me,” he murmurs, eyes so sad, smile so small. “But I think it was when you came to our table and healed her. You are a blessing, Leilani, and Akello would be so proud of you.”

Their poor heart stutters in their chest, fingers falling loose from their hair. “Valdis,” Leilani breathes. “I—”

“Hush, little bird,” Valdis soothes. He leans up, brushing a kiss to their forehead. “This will all be over soon. I will bring Kartok back into your arms today. This I swear.”

“Be safe,” Leilani whispers, eyes closing tight. Valdis’ lips turn up into another smile against their skin.

“Be easy.” He holds them there for a moment longer before settling back, his hands falling from Leilani’s face and down to his side. “Go to the infirmary. I will have him back soon.” 

Leilani nods and manages to return the smile for him before they turn to go. The warmth from Valdis flickers toward sadness, but it does not go out. That alone is comfort enough as they leave the command deck with the heavy weight of Valdis’ gaze resting heavy on their shoulders. 

* * *

They are not in the infirmary when the pod returns.

The moment the alert sounds, Leilani hurries to the hangars, the scant few infirmary staff bustling more than a few paces behind them. They ignore all calls of their name, all pleas to return, and they burst onto the hangar deck with a wild cloud of their emotions surrounding them like a shroud. 

"Commander!" One of the techs springs to their feet. Leilani barely spares them a glance.

"How long?" 

"Commander?" 

"How long?" They stride right up to a console, pressing a hand to a scanner and pulling up mission specs. "Tell me how long until they arrive."

"The—the pod is scheduled to arrive soon." The tech takes a hesitant step closer. "Commander Leilani, perhaps you would like to wait in the infirmary. Commander Valdis—"

"Valdis is not here right now," they say, tone clear and quick, but not sharp. "And he does not command me. I will be here when they arrive." They pause before looking to the tech, startling this young Coalition member with the direct blue of their eyes. "Is that understood?"

"Y-yes," the tech nods. "Of course, Commander." 

Leilani nods, turning their attention back to the screens. 

They do not have to wait long. A ping from the pod, the hiss of the bay doors, and the roar of an engine slowly failing from damage. Leilani musters enough patience to wait until the doors are shut once more and the pod shudders to a stop, but they're off like a shot the moment that's done. 

The hangar floor is cold under their feet, warming only with the friction created when they skid to a stop as the doors open with a flurry of excitement and noise. 

Two soldiers exit, both of them speaking, shouting, over each other, gesticulating wildly, and hovering around the mouth of the pod's doors. Leilani's heart is in their throat, unable to make out what they're saying over the pound of blood in their ears. 

A demand for silence or an explanation dances at the tip of their tongue, but it falls flat as two more soldiers exit, this time with another body draped limp between them. Head bowed, blood flowing freely, feet dragging on the floor behind them as they move. Kartok. 

Leilani is frozen. That's Kartok. Kartok their kin, their love and heart and soul. Kartok injured, Kartok dazed, Kartok bloody and hurt but returned to them at last. 

A low moan breaks past his lips as they head down the steps. The sound is all Leilani needs to spring into action.

"Kartok!" Leilani rushes forward, startling the soldiers as they hurry to meet them. Kartok's head lolls on his neck, clearly having trouble focusing on opening his eyes and lifting his head. Leilani doesn't care. He's alive, that is all they care about.

They get as close as they can, two hands framing his face. They almost collapse at the feverish warmth of his skin hitting their palms, the familiar prickle of his beard enough to bring tears to their eyes. "Dear heart!" 

Another moan from Kartok, softer this time, sounding more like a wordless question than anything. 

"Oh my darling," Leilani whispers, lifting his head up, getting a look at him… and at what's missing. His antlers, his great, gorgeous, majestic antlers are gone. Sawed off, broken, with only jagged, painful-looking things left behind. One of Leilani's hands hovers over the stump, afraid to touch, to irritate what is sure to be an open nerve. 

Kartok is in pain. He is bloodied and beaten, battered and broken, but he is still alive. 

"Lay him down," Leilani orders, already sinking to their knees. "Now. I will tend to him right here, right now." 

"Commander—"

"That is an order!" they snap, their voice like a whipcrack in the air. The soldiers are quick to obey, and Kartok is eased to the floor, his head ending up in Leilani's lap. The moment his back is flat on the ground they get to work. 

The room around them is sour. Every soul weighs so heavy with anxiety and worry that it stings Leilani's senses, acrid and sharp like smoke in the air. They block it out and reach for Kartok, as they always do. He is draped in a icy cold haze of pain that chills Leilani to their very core. Their hands shake on his skin, fingers pressed to his temples and the hollows of his jaw to start. 

Their healing comes faster than they expect, such a rush of warmth almost sickening after the plunge of cold from Kartok. Leilani washes it over him like a balm, soothing the bruises and slashes to his skin, sealing up the open wounds, the cruelty carved deep into their kin. Blood remains behind on his skin, but the sources are sealed shut to leave only scars in their place. 

Kartok's face, screwed up tight with pain, begins to smooth out more and more until he almost looks peaceful. His breath settles deeper as Leilani soothes every ache and heals every mark they can. 

They swallow back the thick drip of something metallic on their tongue and wait only until the last gash is sealed to resettle their focus on what is left of Kartok's antlers and the throbbing they feel behind his eyes. 

This is not so easy a fix. As Leilani feared, this is a deep suffering, something sunk into their Kartok, something that pains him greatly. There is little they can do on their own, here on the floor without time and without Kartok being truly settled. 

"Call for a stretcher," they say, fingers gentle as they brush Kartok's bangs off his forehead. His hair is so thickly matted with blood, so tangled. They fear having to cut out the worst of the mats that have dried and clumped together.

"Yes, Commander," someone mutters off to their right. Leilani does not look away from Kartok for a second. It is mere moments before Kartok is being eased off the floor and onto the stretcher, medics buzzing around him, their voices a low hum that Leilani cannot decipher, not now. 

They ache to follow as he is bustled out of the hangar and to the infirmary, but they force themself to stay rooted firmly in place. Smoothing their bloodstained hands on the skirts of their dress, Leilani turns to face the soldiers who still wait by the pod. 

"Where is Valdis?" Leilani asks, folding two of their hands together. They do not know what the room may have tasted as they worked, they do not know what these hardened fighters think of them, the empathic Commander, Akello's replacement, so much weaker than she. They tilt their chin higher at the thought. "I must speak with him now."

Silence. A quick exchange of uneasy glances between the four. 

Leilani frowns. "Where is Valdis?"

Another trade of glances. A new wave of unease wafts through the room. Leilani fights again wrinkling up their nose as it hits them, sour and wholly unpleasant. Dread sinks like a stone in their chest. 

"Commander Valdis… he did not return with us."

The world falls out from under Leilani's feet. 

* * *

“How could you!?” Leilani demands, slamming a hand down on the command console. The dull thwack of their hand echoes through the empty space of the command deck. Not a single soul remains after their arrival and order to clear the deck. The sour burn and bitterness of their anger was enough to shock those working at their consoles, used to tasting only the sweet echo of their happiness when it is too strong to be subdued.

Leilani glares at the open comm connection, their last link to Valdis. “You bastard! How could you?!”    
  
There’s no response. The comm is offline.

That deafening silence forces them down into their chair, burying their head in two hands while the other two cling to the console. 

“You weren’t supposed to leave,” Leilani sobs. “We cannot do this without you, Valdis, you were supposed to hold us together without Akello! You were not supposed to follow her! And now what is the Coalition?”

Again, silence. Valdis isn’t there. Leilani is speaking to nothing, to no one, to someone who can never answer them again. 

“We need you,” they whisper, broken and desperate to their own ears. “Kartok is injured… broken and tortured and you leave him to lead? He needs time heal and instead you abandon him…” Their voice cracks and shatters into another sob. 

They don’t know what they’re supposed to do. Valdis left them with nothing.

...That’s not true. They know it’s not true. He left them Kartok—he made sure their dear heart came back to them, even if Valdis himself never will. 

Both of them may be broken and aching without their guides, their Commanders, but at least they have each other.

Leilani stays there for a few minutes until the shuddering sobs subside. It takes time to pull themself together, but they must present at least one strong face to their Coalition. Kartok will need as long a recovery as they can provide, and all their skills in healing. 

They wipe the tears from their cheeks and look up at the screen. The connection is still open. Leilani straightens up and hits a button on the console. A message box pops up, prompting if they would like to save the transmission.

The choice is easy. It’s not as if Valdis will ever get a chance to listen.

They delete the message and slump over again.

A low hiss announces the door opening, and Leilani is about to turn and coldly order whoever it is to leave when they hear Omontu’s soft, “Commander?”

Leilani sighs. Their second is the only person who would dare to approach them now, and Omontu knows better than to do it over something frivolous. “Yes?”

“Commander Kartok is awake.”

Their heart jumps at the words, and Leilani is on their feet without a moment’s notice. “Thank you,” they breathe, gathering their skirts in hand and hurrying toward the door. They don’t give the console a second thought, there’s no reason to. 

Valdis is gone, he made his choices, and Kartok is awake. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. You can find us at this-iswhywefight.tumblr.com, where we're always taking questions and requests.


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